My beautiful 23 year old cousin, Tiffany Wilborn, gone too soon because of #domestic #violence - she is loved and will be missed.

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I lost a beautiful cousin Sunday night. I just found out tuesday night and I've not been able to sleep yet. I sit and reflect on the senselessness of her murder and as I watch my 1 year old daughter sleep next to me with not a care in the world, my heart breaks because I cannot fathom having to bury her. PERIOD! I am sure Tiffany’s mother, Demisha "Ching", never imagined in her worse thought of thoughts that some angry insolent man would take her baby's life at the young age of 23 due to domestic violence.

Many women (as well as men) are victims of domestic violence. This generational curse plagues many households. I know that it has affected mine on both sides of my family and many altercations could have been prevented if there was more transparency within our family about domestic violence. Having a deeper conversations with our youth about them being their own person and having a right to their own feelings, stressing the importance that no one has the right to force their ideals on them, them understanding that you can’t force someone like you, they have 100% control over their emotions. And if God gives us all free will then no human being has ANY authority to inflict their convictions on them!

There is a stigma that surrounds domestic violence. Often times the victim is made to believe that they are the cause of the abuse... if only they would have kept their mouth shut; they would not have gotten “punished”. Or maybe if they would not have bought their son clothes with animal characters on them; they would not have gotten hit. Or maybe if they would have never gotten pregnant and fat; they would not have been the cause of them being shoved and falling down some stairs and having the baby 2 months early. Sounds crazy, right? Well, I know personally because, I used to be in a mentally, and physically abusive relationship. I would think if only I could just make him happy or if only I was a better wife; he wouldn’t hurt me. In time, I realized the only thing that would fix my situation was for me to leave.

Fathers should be imparting knowledge into and adding worth to their daughter’s so they can grow up and make better decisions. And when those fulfillments are not met young girls have a tendency to go looking for that boy or man who will validate them and place a price on their virtue. We as woman have to recognize and know whose we are - God daughters - and the power we possess as women.

Even sadder and the biggest losers in this tragedy are Tiffany’s two daughters. For neither will have their parents because of Tiffany's boyfriend, Charles', decision to take her physical life and now his physical freedom.

I didn’t know you Tiffany but hopefully your hardship and loss of life is a start to a dialog within our family to start the education and deterrent on domestic violence and abuse. It is NEVER okay to place your hands on any to do them harm.

May God envelope our family in His perfect peace and help us forgive and heal so that we may raise healthy and productive children to make smart and wise choices for their lives.